Remember that time I said "I'm seriously going to sit down, and find all of the Bright Eyes lyrics that inspire me / I adore." Well, since I haven't committed to doing just about anything this whole week---why not commit to this? Although, it was originally a joke. I've turned into more of a challenge. Let the challenge begin! Granted, I have 119 (items, as Itunes calls them) songs I don't exactly relate and or become inspired by them all. I'm going to start recent, and then backtrack like it's nobodies business.

*'s = oh shit its gonna get real.

Shell Games:
I was dressed in white, touched by something pure
Death obsessed like a teenager
Sold my tortured youth, piss and vinegar
I'm still angry with no reason to be

The Peoples Key (A Machine Spiritual)

Well, every head's a different world

Well, mine's concerned

I boarded up the windows

A catatonic plateau

A backwards black-faced minstrel show

Triple Spiral

Now that the dream is over, I want it to be known

I never saw you coming

From my little human prism

How sad it is to know I'm in control

That's the problem, an empty sky

I fill it up with everything that's missing from my life

Beginners Mind

Stay a while my inner child

I'd like to learn your tricks

Know what makes you tick

Nurse you when you're sick

Oh how you've grown so cynical

Hard lines carved in your face

The sunshine's so cliche

Just like love and pain

Ladder Song

It's on now.

The days are long now.

The ups and the sun downs, in a twisted mind.

If I got to go first.

I'll do it on my terms.

I'm tired of traitors, always changing sides.

They were friends of mine.

Don't hang around once the promise breaks.

You'll be there when the next one's made.

This whole life is a hallucination.

You're not alone in anything.

You're not alone in trying to be.

One For You One For Me

One for the bread lines, one for the billionaires

One for the missing, one for the barely there

One for the certain, one for the real confused

You and me, you and me that is an awful lie

It's I and I

Four Winds

A heart just can't contain all of that empty space

It breaks. It breaks. It breaks.

All the way to Cassadaga to commune with the dead

They said, "You'd better look alive"

If The Brakeman Turns My Way

When panic grips your body and your heart is a hummingbird

Raven thoughts blacken your mind until you're breathing in reverse

All your friends and sedatives mean well but make it worse

Every reassurance just magnifies the doubt

All this death must need a counterweight always someone born again

First a mother bathes her child then the other way around

The Scales always find a way to level out

I tried to pass for nothing

But my dreams gave me away

Hot Knives

Oh, I've made love, yeah, I've been fucked, so what?

I'm a cartoon, you're a full moon, let's stay up

She went to see a Mystic who made medicine from rain

And gave up her existence to feel everything, dream others' dreams

Bid farewell to her family with one ecstatic wave (Please take care I love you all)

Out the window as the car rolled away

She just vanished into a thick mist of change

Make A Plan To Love Me

When you are young the world is a Ferris Wheel

I know we will grow old it is lovely, still

Make a plan to love me sometime soon

Soul Singer In A Session Band

You mean nothing to no one but that's nobody's fault

Classic Cars
She said I kissed her different, that all the men her age were mean

The whole world it loves you if you are a chic chameleon

Intersecting circles she could hang with anyone

But when conducting business she would lie about where she’s from

Saying, "Life is how it is not how it was"

Cleanse Song

So I muffled my scream on an Oxnard beach

Full of fever dreams that scare you sober

Into saltless dinners

Take the fruit from the tree, break the skin with your teeth

Is it bitter or sweet? All depends on your timing

No One Would Riot For Less

Death may come invisible or in a holy wall of fire

In the breath between the markers on some black I-80 mile

From the madness of the governments to the vengeance of the sea

Everything is eclipsed by the shape of destiny

Little soldier, little insect, you know war it has no heart

It will kill you in the sunshine or happily in the dark

See the sterile soil,

Poisoned sky

Yellow water,

Final scraps of life

Bringing new tears

I Must Belong Somewhere

In truth the forest hears each sound

Each blade of grass as it lies down

The world requires no audience

No witnesses, no witnesses

Leave the novelist in his daydream tune

Leave the scientist in her Rubik's cube

Let the true genius in the padded room remain

Cause everything it must belong somewhere

They locked the Devil in the basement, threw God up into the air

Yeah, everything it must belong somewhere

You know it's true, I wish you'd leave me here

Now you know it's true, why don't you leave me here?

Lime Tree

I keep floating down the river but the ocean never comes

Since the operation I heard you're breathing just for one

Now everything is imaginary, especially what you love

You left another message said it's done,

It's done

When I hear beautiful music it's always from another time

Old friends I never visit, I remember what they're like

Standing on a doorstep full of nervous butterflies

Waiting to be asked to come inside

Just come inside

But I keep going out

I can't sleep next to a stranger when I'm coming down

It's 8 a.m. my heart is beating too loud

Too loud

Don't be so amazing or I'll miss you too much

I felt something that I had never touched

Everything gets smaller now the further that I go

Towards the mouth and the reunion of the Known and the Unknown

Consider yourself lucky if you think of it as home

You can move mountains with your misery if you don't

If you don't

It comes to me in fragments, even those still split in two

Under the leaves of that old Lime Tree I stood examining the fruit

Some were ripe and some were rotten, I felt nauseous with the truth

There will never be a time more opportune

So I just won't be late

The window closes, shock rolls over in a tidal wave

And all the color drains out of the frame

So pleased with a daydream that now living is no good

I took off my shoes and walked into the woods

I felt lost and found with every step I took

....Yeah, I totally just posted the whole song :| Whatever.

Cartoon Blues

He said "how did you ever dream up that song?

The one where the baby dies."

I said I'll tell you the secret which one's your good ear?

Yeah, people are made up of water and fear

If there weren't women present we wouldn't be here.

So lets make like we're friends.

I tried walking backwards to get less confused.

Working off a theory I could never prove

That it was life itself to blame.

And time ruined the world

like a failed revolution.

A tumor we could not remove.

An old friend, a constant, the blues

And so I sleep with the fan on to drown out the street,

and the noise rising up from the bar underneath.

For that inconvenience all my drinks are free

So I guess it's just as well.

Why do I envy the ending right from the start?

Just get it together to take it apart.

Watching the horse as it follows the cart.

I sweep up my broken spell.

Trees Get Wheeled Away

Cause it hurts when you discover one's worse and one's better

To suffer or cause others to

And you can live by your conscience

Now guilt is a concept

You're no longer subscribing to

There's a virgin in my bed

And she's taking off her dress

I don't know what I am gonna do

There's a song stuck in my head

And I can't help singing it

Oh how I hope my singing pleases you

Cause this is not who I've become

But what you made me into

Oh we got no health insurance

No cellular service

No disease they can cure

But we need more money to burn

So each person must learn the dollar amount they are worth

So when time comes to claim me

My friends and my family will gather around my grave

And they'll believe that they knew me and loved me and missed me

And all call me by my name

So imagine what you want

And then hold on to that thought

Cause that's as close as it will ever come

and believe you're where you are

So believe you're who you are

and just stay in character

but at the end of the play the audience walks away

and you'll be shivering cold on a well lit stage.

Drunk Kid Catholic

And every night I think I certaintly won't ever sleep sober or alone

And then suddenly it occurs to me

I've slept alone before you

And so I pour myself the stiffest drink my stomach can stand

And convince myself to lay back down again

They crawl from the oceans

To paint in the caves

But I’m working all weekend

I need to get paid

Spent on Rainy Days

I think I'll print it in the personals that I'm looking for a match

Someone to light me up,

someone to burn the proof of the things that I've done

But now it's easy, getting easier,

to leave you and this town behind

I'll do some traveling

Once I'm gone tell all our friends you got even

I'll be anything...

the cord of a parachute...

the blanket on top of you...

The window you are looking through...

Soon You Will Be Leaving Your Man

It's a sweet smile and then a denial. Hey, you

are just trying to be nice. But there is a meaning

to every fleeting action you unconsciously

decide. The clocks they chime. Now it's time.

You stare at me so boldly now. You have no lack

of confidence. It's just those lessons on sublety

you missed. I know you dream of saving me

like I'm some plane that you could land. But

when you fly you'll be leaving your man.

Amy In The White Coat

You look like your mother

In that thin disguise

Your parting mouth,

Your shining eyes.

And the way that you hate me

And the length of your hair

It's the reason I make you

It's the bond that we share

We Are Nowhere, and It's Now

If you hate the taste of wine

Why do you drink it 'til you’re blind?

And if you swear that there’s no truth and who cares

How come you say it like you’re right?

Why are you scared to dream of god

When it’s salvation that you want?

I’ve been sleeping so strange at night

Side effects they don’t advertise

I’ve been sleeping so strange

With a head full of pesticide

Did you forget that yellow bird?

How could you forget your yellow bird?

Old Soul Song (For The New World Order)

We left before the dust had time to settle

Now all the broken glass swept off the avenue

And on the way home held your camera like a bible

Just wishing so bad that it held some kind of truth

And I stood nervous next to you in the dark room

You dropped the paper in the water

And it all begins to bloom

Ya they go wild

And just when I get so lonesome I cant speak

I see some flowers on the hillside

Like a wall of new TVs

Ya they go wild

Lua

When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend

I get a coffee and the paper; have my own conversations

With the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection

The mask I polish in the evening, by the morning looks like shit.

And I know you have a heavy heart; I can feel it when we kiss

Train Under Water

You were born inside of a raindrop

I watched you falling to your death

And the sun, well she could not save you

She'd fallen down too, now the streets are wet

So don't be fooled

No don't get lied to

Love was always cruel

And don't act strange

Don't be a stranger

It happened to me, now it's happening to you

And if I don't come back

I mean if I get side tracked

It's only cause I wanted to

Another Travelin' Song

Now I’m hunched over a typewriter

I guess you call that painting in a cave

And there’s a word I can’t remember

And a feeling I cannot escape

And now my ashtray's overflowing

I’m still staring at a clean white page

Oh and morning's at my window

She is sending me to bed again

So I will find my fears and face them

Or I will cower like a dog

I will kick and scream or kneel and plead

I’ll fight like hell to hide that I’ve given up

Landlocked Blues

If you walk away, I’ll walk away

First tell me which road you will take

I don’t want to risk our paths crossing some day

And the future hangs over our heads

And it moves with each current event

Until it falls all around like a cold steady rain

Just stay in when it’s looking this way

And the world’s got me dizzy again

You think after 22 years I’d be used to the spin

And it only feels worse when I stay in one place

So I’m always pacing around or walking away

But greed is a bottomless pit

And our freedom’s a joke

We’re just taking a piss

And the whole world must watch the sad comic display

If you’re still free start running away

Cause we’re coming for you!

I’ve grown tired of holding this pose

I feel more like a stranger each time I come home

So I’m making a deal with the devils of fame

Saying “let me walk away, please”

Poison Oak

But me I'm a single cell

On a serpents tongue

There's a muddy field where a garden was

And I'm glad you got away

But I'm still stuck out here

My clothes are soaking wet

From your brother's tears

And I never thought this life was possible

You're the yellow bird that I've been waiting for

The end of paralysis

I was a statuette

Now I'm drunk as hell on a piano bench

And when I press the keys

It all gets reversed

The sound of loneliness makes me happier

Road to Joy

I read the body count out of the paper

And now it’s written all over my face

No one ever plans to sleep out in the gutter

Sometimes that’s just the most comfortable place

My mind races with all my longings

But cant keep up with what I got

So when you’re asked to fight a war that’s over nothing

It’s best to join the side that’s gonna win

And no one’s sure how all of this got started

But we’re gonna make them goddam certain how its gonna end

Well I could have been a famous singer

If I had someone else’s voice

But failure’s always sounded better

Lets fuck it up boys, make some noise!

*******

Gold Mine Gutted

You were a stroke of luck

We were a goldmine and they gutted us

And from the sidelines you see me run

Until i’m out of breath

Living the good life

I left for dead

The sorrowful midwest

Well i did my best to keep my head

Arc Of Time

You might clench your fist

You might fork your tongue

As you curse or praise

All the things you’ve done

So you’ll nurse your love

like a wounded dove

in the covered cage of night

they separate and then collide

and they twist like sheets

‘til you fall asleep

and they finally unwind

I hear if you make friends

With Jesus Christ

You’ll get right up

From that chalk outline

And then you'll get dolled up

And you'll dress in white

All to take your place

In his chorus line

And then in you’ll come

With those marching drums

In a saintly compromise

No more whiskey slurs

No more blonde hair girls

For your whole eternal life

And you’ll do the dance

That was choreographed

At the very dawn of time

Singing “I told you son,

The day would come,

You would die, you die, you die, you die…”

To the deepest part

Of the human heart

The fear of death expands

‘til we crack the code,

we’ve always known

But could never understand

Down A Rabbit Hole

for every fear that can't be named to calm you down

your heart starts skipping steps

so you're farther gone

than you might expect

if your thoughts should turn to death

gotta stomp them out like a cigarette

Take It Easy (Love Nothing) *

Left by the lamp, right next to the bed,

on a cartoon cat pad she scratched with a pen,

"Everything is as it's always been.

This never happened.

Don't take it too bad it is nothing you did.

It's just once something dies you can't make it live.

You're a beautiful boy.

You're a sweet little kid but I am a woman."

So I laid back down and wrapped myself up in the sheet

And I must have looked like a ghost 'cause something frightened me

and since then I've been so good at vanishing

Now I do as I please and lie through my teeth

Someone might get hurt, but it won't be me

I should probably feel cheap but I just feel free...

and a little bit empty

No, it isn't so hard to get close to me

There will be no arguments

We will always agree

And I'll try and be kind when I ask you to leave

We'll both take it easy

But if you stay too long inside my memory,

I will trap you in a song tied to a melody

and I will keep you there so you can't bother me

Hit The Switch

I'm staring out into that vacuum again from the back porch of my mind

the only thing that's alive, I'm all there is

you know I'll call you eventually

when I wanna talk, 'til then you're invisible

cause there's this switch that gets hit

and it all stops making sense

and in the middle of drinks

maybe the fifth or the sixth

I'm completely alone at a table of friends

I feel nothing for them

I feel nothing, nothing.

and each morning she wakes

with a dream to describe

something lovely that bloomed

in her beautiful mind

i say, "I'll trade you one

for two nightmares of mine,

I have somewhere I die,

I have somewhere we all die"

I'm thinking of quitting drinking again

I know I've said that a couple of times

and I'm always changing my mind

well I guess I am

but there's this burn in my stomach

and there's this pain in my side

and when I kneel at the toilet

and the morning's clean light

pours in through the window

sometimes I pray I don't die

I'm a goddamn hypocrite

but then night rolls around and it all starts making sense

there is no right way or wrong way, you just have to live

and so I do what I do, and at least I exist

what could mean more than this?

I Believe In Symmetry

How time can move both fast and slow

Amazes me

And so I raise my glass to symmetry

To the second hand and its accuracy

To the actual size of everything

The desert is the sand

You can't hold it in your hand

It won't bow to your demands

And if it seems like an accident

A collage of senselessness

You weren't looking hard enough

Oh I want to learn such simple things

No politics, no history

Till what I want and what I need

Can finally be the same

I just got myself to blame

Leave everything up to fate

When there's choices I could make

And now my heart needs a polygraph

Always so eager to pack my bags

When I really wanna stay

Devil in the Details

Well I made amends

In the general sense

But the devil’s in the details

And I know the cause

And I want to stop

But I can’t do it,

I just can’t do it

There was love I meant

There were accidents

So tell me which is which

Its just one day I fell asleep

And all day all night I dreamed

I am the first one I deceive

If I can make myself believe

The rest is easy…

Light Pollution

and freedom yells, it dont cry.

whatever sells will decide.

but there is no hell when you die.

so dont look so worried."

he got a night life

lost his day job

pushing paper, swinging pendulums

anything to serve a function or to occupy some time

you have got to earn this living somehow

you are good as dead without a bank accound

but it is funny how alive he felt, down in that unemployment line

then all at once he saw the dust

and heard every tiny sound

got in his truck and turned around

drove out through the crowd

and the cops drove out past that center mall

out past that sickening sprawl

out past that fenced in gold

and maybe he lost control fucking with the radio

but i bet the stars seemed so close at the end

Easy/Lucky/Free

did it all get real, i guess it's real enough

they got refrigerators full of blood

another century spent pointing guns

at anything that moves

i got some friends i barely see

but we're all planning to meet

we'll lay in bags as dead as leaves

all together for eternity

but don't you weep

there is no one as lucky

honey, don't you weep

there is nothing as lucky, as easy, or free

The Big Picture

Well is it your fear of being buried that makes you so afraid to speak?

An avalanche of opinions like the one that feel that I am now underneath.

It was my voice that moved the first rock and I would do it all again.

So, I mean, it's cool if you keep quiet, but I like singing.

And don't go blaming your knowledge on some fruit you ate.

Cause there's been a great deal of discussion, yes, about the properties of man.

Animal or angel? You were carved from bone, but your heart it's just sand.

And the wind is going to scatter it and cover everything with love.

So if it makes you happy, then keep kneeling Mama, but I am standing up.

Because this veil, it has been lifted. Yes, my eyes are wet with clarity.

I've been a witness of such wonders. Oh, I've searched for them all across this country

but I think I'll be returning now to the town where I was born.

And I understand you must keep moving friend, but I am heading home.

All across the electric wire, it's a baited line. The hook is in deep boys,

there is no more time. So you can struggle in the water and be too stubborn to die,

or you could just let go and be lifted to the sky.

Method Acting

It's a shocking bit of footage

viewed from a shitty TV screen.

You can squint at it through snowy static

to make out the meaning.

Just keep on stretching the antenna,

hoping that it will come clear.

We need some reception, a higher message,

just tell us what to fear.

'Cause I don't know what tomorrow brings.

It is alive with such possibilities.

All I know is I feel better when I sing.

Burdens are lifted from me, that's my voice rising!

We need a record of our failures.

Yes, we must document our love.

I have sat too long in my silence.

I have grown too old in my pain.

To shed this skin, be born again,

it starts with an ending.

So thank you friends for the time we shared.

My love stays with you like sunlight and air.

Oh how I truly wish I could keep hanging around here

but my joy is covering me. Soon, I will disappear.

It's not a movie, no private screening.

This method acting, well, I call that living.

It's like a fountain, a door has been opened.

We have a problem with no solution but to love and to be loved.

False Advertising

On a string I was held.

The way that I move, can you tell?

My actions are orchestrated from above.

So I swing and I sway.

Wave my hand. Kick my leg.

And it is always right with the music.

"Until all that swaying starts to make you sick"

If I could act like this was my real life and not some cage where I've been placed,

then, I could tell you the truth like I used to and not be afraid of sounding fake.

Now all that anyone is listening for are the mistakes.

And I know what must change. Fuck my face. Fuck my name.

They are brief and false advertisements for a soul I don't have.

Something true I have lacked and spent my whole life trying to make up for.

You Will? You? Will. You? Will.

You said you would be my dream. I could have you every night

and if, by morning, I had forgotten you, well, no big deal, it would be all right

'cause you are the reoccurring kind.

You are the reoccurring kind.

You never really leave my mind.

Now I write when I'm away letters that you never read.

You said go to explore those other women,

the geography of their bodies

but there is just one map you'll need.

You are a boomerang. You'll see.

You will return to me.

I can't even with Lover I Don't Have To Love---its just, too much right now.

Bowl of Oranges

I came upon a doctor who appeared in quite poor health.

I said "there is nothing I can do for you, you can't do for yourself."

He said "Oh yes you can. Just hold my hand. I think that would help."

So I sat with him a while and then I asked him how he felt.

He said, "I think I'm cured. No, in fact, I'm sure.

Thank you Stranger, for your therapeutic smile."

So that is how I learned the lesson that everyone is alone.

And your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow.

But when crying don't help and you can't compose yourself.

It is best to compose a poem, an honest verse of longing or simple song of hope.

Don't Know When but A Day Is Gonna Come *

Now men with purple hearts carry silver guns.

And they'll kill a man for what his father's done.

But what my father did, you know it don't mean shit.

I'm not him.

And you think I need some discipline, well, I had my share.

I've been sent to my room. I've been sat in a chair.

And I held my tongue. I didn't plug my ears.

No, I got a good talking to.

Now I don't know why, but I still try to smile

when they talk at me like I'm just a child.

Well, I'm not a child. No, I am

much younger than that.

And now I've read some books and I've grown quite brave.

If I could just speak up, I think I would say

that there is no truth. There is only you

and what you make the truth.

Let's Not Shit Ourselves (To Love and to be Loved) ****

I've seen a child is caught in the sad trap of gravity.

He falls from the lowest branch of the apple tree

and lands in the grass and weeps for his dignity.

Next time he will not aim so high.

Yeah, next time, neither will I.

And so I've learned to retreat at the first sign of danger.

I mean, why wait around, if it's just to surrender?

An ambition, I've found, can lead only to failure.

I do not read the reviews.

No, I am not singing for you.

Well, my teachers, they built this retaining wall of memory,

all those multiple choices I answered so quickly.

And got my grades back and forgot just as easily,

but as least I got an A.

And so I don't have them to blame.

And the approval rating's high,

and so someone's gonna die.

Well ABC, NBC, CBS: Bullshit.

They give us fact or fiction? I guess an even split.

And each new act of war is tonight's entertainment.

We're still the pawns in their game.

As they take eye for an eye until no one can see,

we must stumble blindly forward, repeating history.

And my father was there, in a chair, by the window, staring so far away.

I tried talking, just whispered, "...so sorry...so selfish..."

He stopped me and said, "Child I love you regardless

and there's nothing you could do that would ever change this.

I'm not angry. It happens. But you just can't do it again."

Now I'm rubbing my eyes 'cause they're starting to bother me.

I've been staring too long at the screen.

But where was it when I first heard a sweet sound of humility?

It came to my ears in the goddamn loveliest melody.

How grateful I was then to be part of the mystery,

to love and to be loved. Let's just hope that is enough.

I can't really count the Christmas album, since it's a cover of Christmas songs.

A Spindle, A Darkness, A Fever, A Necklace

I touch the clasp of your locket, with its picture held,

some secret you wouldn't tell but let it choke your neck.

Near a sea of pianos, there were waves of chords

that crashed against the shore in one huge and useless roar.

And there were girls bringing water,

like a dream they came to cure the fever of my brain,

and soothe my burning throat.

And they made me a necklace, hanging beads of sweat on a string of my regrets,

and placed it round my neck

and they were singing, don't you do what you've wanted to.

Yeah, don't destroy yourself like those cowards do

Maybe the sun keeps coming up cause it's gotten used to you

and your constant need for proof.

Too many emotions for The Calendar Hung Itself right now.

Something Vague

You see your breath in the air as you'll climb up the stairs

to that coffin you call your apartment.

And you sink in your chair, brush the snow from your hair

and drink the cold away.

And you're not really sure what you're doing this for

but you need something to fill up the days.

A few more hours.

There's a dream in my brain that just won't go away.

It's been stuck there since it came a few nights ago

And I'm standing on a bridge in the town where I lived

as a kid with my mom and my brothers.

And then the bridge disappears and I'm standing on air

with nothing holding me.

And I hang like a star, fucking glow in the dark,

for all those starving eyes to see,

like the ones we've wished on.

Arienette *

The fragile keep secrets, gathered in pockets,

and they'll sell them for nothing a cheap watch or locket

that kind of gold washes off.

And the sad act like lepers, they stick to the shadows

and long to ring bells of warning to tell of their coming

so that the pure can shut their doors.

And the angry are animals senseless and savage.

They act without order in logical lapses,

they stain their mouths with blood.

So take my hand, this barren land is alive tonight.

The corn has grown stalks that form a wall too high.

But the wind carries sounds that I can't see from beyond that line.

Then the stalks begin to sway

Oh stay with me Arienette until the wolves are away.

Yeah

Well the wicked are vultures, and they bake in the canyons.

They circle in sunlight and wait for their victims

to collapse and call to them.

And the desperate are water. They will run down forever

as they soak into silence mend up together,

in a dark and distant, dark and distant place.

So don't leave me here with only mirrors watching me.

This house it holds nothing but the memories.

And the moon it leaves silver but never sleep.

And then the silver turns to gray

Oh stay with me Arienette until the wolves are away.

Yeah, I just put the whole song yet again

When The Curious Girl Realizes She's Under Glass

No matter how I may wish for a coffin so clean

or these trees to undress all their leaves onto me.

I put my face in the dirt and then finally I see

the sky that has been avoiding me.

With her feet in the sand and one hand on her swimsuit,

she will recite the prayer of my pen.

Saying, ...time take us forward. Relief from this longing,

they can land that plane on my heart I don't care

just give me November, the warmth of a whisper

in the freezing darkness of my room.

Haligh Haligh, A Lie, Haligh *

Let the funeral start

Hear the casket close

Let’s pin split-black ribbon to your overcoat

Well, laughter pours from under doors

In this house, I don’t understand that sound no more

Seems artificial, like a T.V. set

You said you hate my suffering

And you understood

And you’d take care of me

You'd always be there

Well where are you now?

And I sing and sing of awful things

The pleasure that my sadness brings

As my fingers press onto the strings

In yet another clumsy chord

Haligh, haligh, an awful lie

This weight would now be satisfied

I'm gonna give you only one reply

I know not who I am

But I talk in the mirror

To the stranger that appears

Our conversations are circles

Always one sided

Nothing is clear

Except we keep coming back

To this meaning that I lack

He says the choices were given

Now you must live them

Or just not live

But do you want that?

The Center Of the World

in the middle of the day

when you drive home to your place

from that job that makes you sleep

back to the thoughts that keep you awake

long after night has come to claim

any light that still remains

Sunrise Sunset *

Sunrise, sunset.

You wake up, then you undress.

It always is the same.

The sunrise and the sunsets.

he sunrise and the sunsets

You realize then you forget what you've been trying to retain.

But everybody knows that it is all about the things

that get stuck inside of your head,

like the songs your roommate sings

Sunrises, sunsets.

You're hopeful then you regret.

The circle never breaks.

With a sunrise and a sunset there's a change of heart or address.

Is there nothing that remains?

For a sunrise or a sunset.

You're manic or you're depressed.

Will you ever feel ok?

It's a sunrise and a sunset.

From a cradle to a casket.

There is no way to escape.

The sunrise and the sunset.

Hold your sadness like a puppet, keep putting on the play.

But everything you do is leading to the point

where you just won't know what to do.

And at that moment you may laugh

but there is someone there who will be laughing louder than you.

So it's true, the trick is complete.

Become everything you said you never would be.

You're a fool! You're a fool!

Sunrise, sunset.

Where are you Arienette?

A Song To Pass The Time

Well, I've locked my actions in the grooves of routine.

So I may never be free of this apathy.

But I wait for a letter that is coming to me.

She sends me pictures of the ocean in an envelope.

So there still is hope.

Yes, I can be healed.

There is someone looking for what I've concealed

in my secret drawer, in my pockets deep,

you will find the reasons that I can't sleep and you will still want me.

But will you still want me? Will you still want?

Going For The Gold

But if I could talk to myself

like I was someone else,

well then maybe I could take your advice,

and I wouldn't act like such an asshole all the time.

They will detail their pain

In some standard refrain.

They will recite their sadness

Like it's some kind of contest.

Well, if it is, I think I am winning it,

All beaming with confidence

as I make my final lap.

The gold medal gleams

so hang it around my neck

cause I am deserving it:

the champion of idiots.

No Lies, Just Love.

And I wrote a letter to my family

Said it's not your fault

And you've been good to me

Just lately I've been feeling

Like I don't belong

Like the ground's not mine to walk upon

So I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face

Not this fucking wreck

That's taken its place

So please forgive what I have done

No you can't stay mad at the setting sun

Cause we all get tired, I mean eventually

There is nothing left to do but sleep

But spring came bearing sunlight

Those persuasive rays

So I gave myself a few more days

My salvation it came, quite suddenly

When Justin spoke very plainly

He said "Of course it's your decision,

But just so you know,

If you decide to leave,

Soon I will follow"

A Line Allows Progress, A Circle Does Not

you stand near the sink

while you're mixing a drink

you think you don't want to pass out

where your roommates will find you again

no more sleep walking dead"

you're going to wake from this coma

you're going to crawl from this bed you have made

and stop counting on that camera

that hangs round your neck

because it won't ever remember

what you choose to forget

as you try to find some source of light

try to name one thing you like

you used to have such a longer list

and light you never had to look for it

but now it's so easy to second guess everything you do

Neeley O'Hara

and like neely o'hara you swallow your sleep

and wake up in the morning

to find out you are not who you used to be

you don't recognize the behavior

or the spelling of your name and the shape that is in the mirror

well you'd swear it is not the same

and like neely o'hara

you swallow your sleep and you really can't remember

but you know you are not

think you are not

no you are not who you used to be

Perfect Sonnet

But I guess I'll have to settle for a few brief moments

And watch it all dissolve into a single second

And try to write it down into a perfect sonnet

or one foolish line

'Cause that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept

You are here then you're gone

But as for me I'm coming to the final chapter

I read all of the pages and there is still no answer

Only all that was before I know must soon come after

That is the only way it can be

So I stand in the sun

And I breathe with my lungs

Trying to spare me the weight of the truth

Saying everything you've ever seen was just a mirror

And you've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever

And now you are laying in a bathtub full of freezing water

Wishing you were a ghost

But as for me I'm coming to my final failure

I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better

But I ended up becoming something other than what I had planned to be

Now I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers

And layed entwined together on a bed of clover

And left there to sleep

Left there to dream of their happiness

Thursday 3 November 2011

This one goes out to Chizzy/Spencer/Arienette/Auds

Monday 10 October 2011

33 Things You Didn't Know About Me.

Wednesday 5 October 2011

What was I thinking?

Friday 2 September 2011

Wednesday 20 July 2011

Why is it so hard to find this video?

Monday 9 May 2011

No lies, just love.

Wednesday 27 April 2011

I'm slowly turning this into a song blog.

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